Michele "Laser Stare" Bachmann

Bachmann has to be one of the dumbest politicians in the modern era, probably surpassing even the previous crowning champs of this infamous category: George Bush and Sarah Palin. Bill Maher said it best when he described Michele Bachmann as "The candidate to pick when you think that Sarah Palin is too intellectual.".

Bachmann has been fairly visible in recent discussion of policy because of her wide tea party support, thus there are numerous videos of her discussing her views (It seems that in every video of her I can find she has the same mechanical, thousand yard stare, which has led me to conclude that either there isn't a lot going on in her brain or she has a transmitter that tells her what to say directly from the cerebellums of the Koch duo). One only need look at some of Bachmann's gag reel of public appearances to see her demonstrate just how ignorant she is in all subjects involved in governance. Bachmann believes in a completely distorted history where the USA was founded a Christian nation, the founding fathers freed the slaves, and everybody has always been equal. By not acknowledging the mistakes of our past, we will not learn from them and thus will inevitably repeat them. In addition to historical ignorance, Bachmann is borderline psychotic in her economic policy and if allowed to control the country, would reduce the economy to cinders in a matter of years. Bachmann believes that not only can the free market fix anything but that trickle down economics works despite the obvious falsehood to both beliefs. Ironically, Michele Bachmann is possibly the most severe welfare utilizer I have ever seen: the Bachmann family farm receives agricultural subsidies, her husband's clinic is supported by medicare, her family has benefited from unemployment, and Bachmann herself has always worked for the government. One of the most overlooked facts of Michele Bachmann's rhetorical schizophrenia is that not only is she currently running for office on a right wing anti-government/anti-tax platform, which is in itself somewhat hypocritical, but her previous job was as an IRS tax lawyer. That's right, AN IRS TAX LAWYER is one of the darlings of the Tea Party.

While I don't believe that any religious beliefs of the candidates should be brought into the debate, the right wingers absolutely insist on doing it anyway. Bachmann is fundamentalist Evangelical and hold all of the conservative views on abortion, women's rights, gay rights, and as a topper, doesn't believe in the seperation of church and state.

Bachmann has a chance to get the nomination because she is both fiscally and socially conservative enough to please the right wingers and until recently has been the anti-Romney. Everybody hates Romney and thus many conservatives ran to Bachmann by default, but with Perry entering the race I don't know whether she will be able to scoop the nomination.

If Bachmann is the Republican presidential nominee it will be a double edged sword to the non-crazy of this country: on one hand, the odds of Bachmann defeating Obama in the general election are infinitesimally small, her election would be a disaster the equivalent to Nero's reign in Rome. Domestically, the social safety net would be finished, the economy would be subjected to another 4 years of Republican dominance and the rights of women and homosexuals would be curtailed at record speed. Internationally, The USA would lose almost all respect for electing such an unstable and ignorant president. Environmental regulation would be cut and before we knew it, the USA would be polluted, poor and sick. Bachmann's election would be catastrophic, but in my opinion, she is simply to obviously crazy for the nomination, never mind the general election.

The Sarcastic Liberal